TITLE: BOYS WEAPONS LAYER:
STACK-000005 LOGDATE: 25.02.21 USER: NATALIE
So my government has deemed me non-existant.
Overnight
I have been systematically slowed from traveling. Even if I “pass” I will still have to identify as my supposed “birth gender” to pass through checkpoints.
How fucked up, a conversation about my fucking genitals every time I want to fly. I’ve spent thousands trying to reduce my muscle mass to pass and conserivatives cry about me trying to compete in womens sports. Like I would stand a chance or even cared before. Bills being paassed that only stop a handfull of trans highschoolers from competing in sports, while it backfires and results in their own daughters rights being taken from them. Cis Women are already being harrassed by police men in bathrooms for appearing masculine. Watching everything spiral backwards live has been something isolating in my offline life. Living in the south is not a fun place. There are wonderful oaisis’ all over the south, and elsewhere but damn does it feel impossible to get to them. The land around me is beautiful, I don’t want to abandon it but the more I try to connect to the children of these colonizers the more I feel alienated. So many racist dudes with firepower dotted everwhere around me, the conversation of “where were you on january 6th” is taken so serious it makes your hair stand on end, it’s terrifying as a trans woman to exist without having on either full drag or a moustache and handgun. All it takes is one drunk guy with misplaced anger and I’m dust on my own sidewalk. I have been effectively removed from public life for my entire life, learned and internalized.
I wont let that last much longer.
- Natalie
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